After I decided to stop acquiring books for a full year, I took a deep breath. I felt so clear and calm.
And then I turned my eye to the rest of my stuff. My jewelry box, cluttered with earrings and necklaces and rings I never don. The shoe rack, covered with shoes I never wear. Our square-square, full of things I never use. My closet, bursting with clothes I never touch.
I felt a radical shiver run down my spine.
What if I went twelve full months without buying anything new?
What would it be like, to go a full year without accumulating new things? What would I do with my money instead? Would I start to use my existing things more often, or would they still sit around and gather dust? How would it feel? How would I feel?
My default activity is currently shopping. If Pace needs some time alone, I go out and shop. What would I do if I put a ban on buying things? How could I fill my time, if not with the wandering accumulation of new things? I often engage in retail therapy when I’m unhappy – what other ways to sooth myself could I find, if I chose to stop buying new things?
The possibilities are endlessly exciting.
A full year with more awareness on my current belongings. A full year of weighing the feeling of need to see if it is need – or if it’s merely want. And then, deciding whether or not to honor the wanting instead of acting by default. An entire year of fully enjoying what I do have, instead of focusing on what I don’t.
At first, I felt like it would be a year without.
But maybe it would be the first year in my life fully and completely with.
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{ 24 comments… read them below or add one }
One thing that’s worked well for me this past year is to set a monetary cap rather than a ban. So I’ll budget (say) $50 a month for fun electronic gizmos. If I want to buy a $200 phone, I’m welcome to do so, but I have to wait 4 months. This way I have time to think about whether I really want it, and whether I want it more than the other toys that I could have bought for that money.
I sometimes have trouble sticking to a budget, and I can’t say that I’ve followed this method religiously all the time, but it has helped me to be more conscious of what I spend. By spending less often, I spend less.
Do it! Was just thinking where I would draw the line. Food, drink and travel would be on my “allowed” list. You?
.-= Matt Kimberley´s last blog ..Getting Things Done vs Doing Things =-.
Wow, I felt that same shiver reading this post! Love this line, “maybe it would be the first year in my life fully and completely with.”
.-= Sandi Amorim´s last blog ..2011 Deserves a Little Dreaming =-.
You’re starting to scare me, Kyeli. I mean… wow.
Could I do this? Um. Hmm.
*runs away*
.-= Tori Deaux´s last blog ..Dear Santa… A Letter From The Circus =-.
I would tell you what you would do if not shopping. You would be reading :)
.-= helen´s last blog ..Почивка =-.
Hey Kyeli.
Am so with you on this one! Wrote an essay on shopping published maybe 5 years ago. Yes, it’s the “trained” default activity. Believe it or not, our “schooling” trains us to be semi-flatlining consumers. Education, real education, would have the opposite effect. To keep buying stuff until our homes are stuffed so we need a bigger one and so on. Yet, stuffing ourselves makes us feel empty. I know that from personal experience. The strange part is that we’ve all got so much stuff we don’t even realize we have it anymore and keep buying more stuff that’s almost identical to the stuff we’ve got stuffed.
The concerning part is that our economy thrives when we buy stuff we don’t need. Read the paper, it’s like a day by day update on how much stuff we haven’t been buying.
At the end of your life, it will be the experiences we remember not the stuff.
Great! Giulietta
.-= Giulietta Nardone´s last blog ..Nothing is wrong with you =-.
DO IT. Go you! I’ve been buying almost nothing for a couple of years now and it is so, so freeing. Best of luck and enjoy it!
Got for it! See if you can do it. I totally think you can. I spent a year doing this three years ago, and now, I’ve relaxed the rules a little, but I hardly buy anything, and even then, only after I’ve thought about it for, oh, four months or so. But if there’s something fun to DO, ooooh, boy howdy, I’m there.
You’ll need to, obviously, set some parameters – you’ll have to buy food. What about business expenses? What if something breaks? Best of luck! I hope you find it surprisingly easy and a truly freeing experience!
.-= Steff Metal´s last blog ..New Years Resolutions- I can haz them =-.
Hmm… Okay, so this next year isn’t going to be the year of going without so much as you’ve already been going without for a long time now, i.e. without connecting with what you already had.
Oooh I love it. :) I don’t think it would be a big stretch from no books to no other “stuff”. I think I used to buy so many books, DVDs, etc that there wasn’t any space for anything else… now I buy online stuff, not necessarily better. But it doesn’t take up any physical space! ;)
I think Matt brought up an interesting point: food and travel are still purchases, though of a different nature. Then there’s gifts, but those too can be non-”stuff”… like massages, etc.
Ahh the possibilities!
.-= Nathalie Lussier´s last blog ..Is Your Current Business Lifestyle Sustainable =-.
I support planning on not buying more stuff.
If you need to get out to give Pace time alone in the house, go to a coffee shop with a book.
Engage in “coffee shop therapy” rather than “retail therapy”. You can go 2 or 3 hours in a coffee shop for a lot less than a trip to 2 or 3 stores might set you back.
I go shopping mostly because we need the use of things that don’t happen to be in the house. For actual “therapy”, a coffee shop does me a lot more good than a store. I recommend giving it a try. :)
And, when you’re not needing to get out of the house, if you need whatever sort of “therapy” time, you could start going through the stuff you already have and figure out what you really don’t want at this point. And then get it out of your life. :) (I did this with my closet, I’m almost done, I have a few more boxes from the 2002 move to go through, and some stuff that is in bins that I go through about once a month, and I manage to find an appropriate place for a few things each time. And oh the shoes I let out of my life! Many were just too small and needing to be gone. Some were just not going to work for me, period. I still have one pair that doesn’t go with anything I own, but I am balking at getting rid of them.)
If you do start getting rid of any of the stuff, I’d be interested in reading about it, for a couple of reasons. One, I’ve gotten rid of a bunch of stuff myself, and would be interested in how you did it differently. Two, I like reading what you have to write! :)
This sounds fascinating and yeah, made me stop for a hot second and think about whether this is something I could actually pull off. I mean really, SO MUCH STUFF. And probably no need. I’m getting stressed out just thinking about it!
Would love to hear more about your parameters, because I can already hear my “inside-me” trying to talk myself out of it – “What if you lose weight and need smaller clothes?” Can you get old clothes tailored? “What if you drop your cell phone and it’s inoperable?” “What if your only vegetable peeler suddenly gives out and dang it we need some peeled potatoes?” “What about gifts?”
What if, what if what if. But honestly, amazing idea. Hope to hear more on this. Preferably before Jan 1. ;)
Interesting you should mention this.
Jill Chivers has been writing about this very topic over at her blog, and has just finished her own year of not-shopping.
http://myyearwithoutclothesshopping.com/blog/
And it’s so true… many of us have such a weird relationship with stuff.
(And not in a good way.)
Good Fortune on your Journey! :-)
.-= Birdy Diamond´s last blog ..Free-flying Friday – Hollyday Prezzie Edition! -> =-.
What to do besides shopping? Well, let’s see, you have an awfully long list of books to read . . . ;)
I think this sounds like a marvelous adventure and I’m looking forward to reading about it. Please keep us posted!
.-= Sheila the Wonderbink´s last blog ..Word Art- Breaking Awake =-.
At first I was all “I could never do that” and “what about kids clothes and… and… ” and I realized that even though my personal default is hanging out on the internet rather than shopping… I still have managed to get more than I absolutely NEED… I have books that I have yet to read and toys the kids never play with. I have clothes that I no longer need for my job…
I realize, though, that I scrimp on things I do need. I need clothes that do not have holes in them, but I talk myself out of getting them. I talk myself out of getting a supportive bed. I buy things I don’t need to avoid getting or saving up for things I really do need.
My challenge is to cut back on buying: books, magazines, and craft supplies. Buying clothes for the kids at the second hand shops. And not buying frozen foods until I have used up the huge hoard I have in there now.
.-= Moon’slark´s last blog ..Wishcasting Wednesday- What is your Winter Wish =-.
Good luck with this if you do go for it, Kyeli! Will be interested to see how it pans out for you. :-) I’ve read a fair few people post about having a year where they buy nothing new, and it seems like they get a lot out of it.
Shopping used to be something I just did when I was bored … now I’m much less likely to go to the shops unless I *need* something. (Loads of people are hitting the sales locally at the moment, and I have no desire whatsoever to join them!) I think shopping-as-default is just a habit, and one which can be broken – if that’s what you want to do.
.-= Ali Luke´s last blog ..Beyond Freelancing- The Shift to Entrepreneur =-.
@Julia, yeah, I’m with ya there, ‘getting rid of stuff’ therapy is _great_. Every time I take a box to the thrift store I feel lighter. Kyeli, I bet you’ll love it. And yes, I’d love to ear about it too!
@Courtney – Clothes can be altered to fit if needed. As for the rest, just don’t plan on buying any of those things, but if something comes up and you need to get a new phone, well, you’ve saved enough money by not buying all that other stuff that you’ll have the room in the budget, right? :) As for gifts, can you make things? I have the materials, but not the time right now, for making all sorts of things. (When I finish getting rid of all the stuff that is no longer needed, I’ll probably have more time and will be able to do things like make presents for people that, for whatever reason, I’m “supposed” to be buying stuff for.)
@Moons’lark – If you can refrain from buying the things you don’t need and take that money and buy the things that you do need, then yay! I especially support the idea of getting yourself a better bed. And I, as well, need to get more of my kids’ clothing used than I have been.
@Ali – I’ve been trying to avoid shopping unless I need something, and doing my best to not buy other random things just because they look cool. I’m basing my shopping now on a) what do I need that I can’t get at the grocery store, and b) what do I have a soon-to-be-expiring coupon or gift certificate for (and in the case of the coupon, if I buy enough to be able to use the coupon in the first place, I won’t need to go back to that store for months, maybe even a year).
I’m still buying books, but I’m doing it very mindfully, which is a big change from 4 years ago, when I just bought books whenever in whatever quantity I felt like. (As a result of that previous behavior, I have entirely too many unread books, but want to keep buying for the purposes of supporting local businesses and supporting authors I care about as people.)
If you stop shopping, then you can always read one of those unread books instead :P
How about one month? Can I just say one month?
I’ve been thinking about the book buying ban but this is even more appropriate to me- when I buy books lately I buy them not just to read myself, but I’m consciously building a library for my future classroom.
But STUFF… man, I buy too much stuff. Stuff for Sylvia, stuff for me.. clothes.. toys.. gizmos… but saying I’m not going to buy any stuff for a year is like saying I’m not going to eat for a week. I might go a while, but I know I’ll cave soon- i’m not trained in fasting.
But a month, that I can try to do. And hopefully at the end of the month, looking at my bank account will make me want to continue.
.-= Green´s last blog ..NaNoWriMo- an Invocation =-.
@Green – I think that starting with a goal you’re more confident of succeeding with is better than a goal you think will likely end in failure.
So, if you do the month, will you come back and leave a comment to report success? I’d love to be able to read about success!
@Birdy – I started at post #1 on Jill’s blog, and I’m in the high 70s now. I’ve been finding a lot of food for thought there. I just realized in the past 10 minutes that I wanted to track down the person who’d made that recommendation so I could thank them. So, thank you! :)
Most welcome! :-)
She is an awesome lady with a great deal of wisdom to share.
.-= Birdy Diamond´s last blog ..Free-flying Friday – Hollyday Prezzie Edition! -> =-.
And thank YOU for getting me thinking in her direction – I have a guest post due for her listening blog “I’m Listening Now”, which had managed to slip my mind. :-)
.-= Birdy Diamond´s last blog ..Free-flying Friday – Hollyday Prezzie Edition! -> =-.