Comments on: Your children are not obligated to repay you.

By: widd84

widd84 — Thu, 15 Apr 2010 05:00:27 +0000

Saw this post linked thru a facebook page… This really sums up my mother’s idea of parenting and now that I’m an adult she’s constantly backwardly insinuating that because she did this or that for me growing up, that I owe her. I feel that as my mother it was simply her duty and if she didn’t want to do all the things that go along with parenting then maybe she should have bought a dog.

And something else that always irritates me… others have commented about willingly child-less people and I would be one of them. I am not a mothering type and have never really felt I wanted children. People (especially much older — age 60 or more — women) are always shocked and amazed that I don’t want kids and usually the first thing they say is, “But who do you think is going to take care of you when you’re old?”. As if having children is a foolproof plan for your elderly care. Sorry, but I wouldn’t feel it fair to saddle my children with the burden of taking care of me if I make to an old, old age.

By: Bob Collier

Bob Collier — Thu, 15 Apr 2010 03:46:23 +0000

My children don’t have nothing to repay me for – I want to repay them for making a better person out of me.

By: Lisa

Lisa — Thu, 15 Apr 2010 00:56:00 +0000

Damn straight. .-= Lisa´s last blog ..What is obvious? (About war) =-.

By: deb(bie debbie doo)

deb(bie debbie doo) — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 23:26:02 +0000

“What cycle do you want to encourage?” go shout it from the mountain Kyeli! You totally rocked this one…

And my 16yr old, reading over my shoulder, just said: “”That is exactly right!”

By: Amberlee

Amberlee — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 17:48:48 +0000

We have been having a discussion about how people decide to have or adopt children to maintain the LOOK of things. We call them Pet Children because they are treated no better or worse than the dog. Thanks for this post! Awesome! My children didn’t choose to be part of our family, but I can welcome them here and be there for them and love them regardless of choices or differences in how they think or things they like and what I like…I hope to work on our relationship and let them know I love them always…

By: Ren

Ren — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 16:37:38 +0000

I think there is a danger when a parent feels a child “should” anything. In any relationship, if we have “shoulds” it can get in the way of what IS. If you raise your child with respect and kindness and they DON’T act grateful, then what? Then you’re setting yourself up for disappointment and unhealthy relationships.

This blogpost is spot on! Our children don’t owe us anything, I DO however, owe them the very best parent and friend I can possibly be to them. If they are grateful for that one day…so be it. If not, then I maybe did my job really well…in that they took for granted they deserved kindness and respect from day one. I’m not being their parent to exact gratitude from them. So far, that’s worked out really well for us. Ren, currently Mum to 20y.o., 16y.o., 13y.o. and 9y.o. who thankfully take my kindness for granted…for the most part and treat others with much kindness most of the time. :)

By: Kate

Kate — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 16:13:44 +0000

*Standing ovation*

This is something I feel really, really passionately about (having been one of those children who was expected to be grateful), and it’s so great to see someone putting the point so eloquently. Thank you.

By: Two Gifts of Unrequited Love

Two Gifts of Unrequited Love — Tue, 26 May 2009 18:18:30 +0000

[...] loving parents consciously bring a child into this world, they don’t see their child as being obligated to repay them. They brought their child into this world unconditionally, wanting the best for their child — [...]

By: Sarah Marie Lacy

Sarah Marie Lacy — Fri, 22 May 2009 14:40:17 +0000

Oh boyyy, did this ever strike a chord with me. I get really wound up about this too, especially since I still live at home.

You do not have kids to raise the next Martha Stewart. You do not have kids to have someone else to take your problems out on. And if you do?

Your kids owe you nothing. Anything they owe is to themselves, and that’s the journey to figure out who they really are.

Sarah xoxo

Sarah Marie Lacy’s last blog post..Interactions with a Clutter Monster.

By: Nathalie Lussier

Nathalie Lussier — Tue, 12 May 2009 18:52:01 +0000

Wow, just wow. I agree! I felt myself in a lot of the words you wrote, as the child. I'm not a parent yet, but this short post is enough to influence the way I will look at and think about my future children! Thank you, you rock! :) Nathalie Lussier’s last blog post..Gratitude Monday #6: Baby Everything Edition!