For example, my hubs feels the need to honk ALL THE TIME when we are driving (his reasonings include: ‘it’s my voice on the road!’ and ‘they need to know they are bad drivers!’). Our solution so far is to compromise by limiting himself to 3 honks per trip. He still gets to be himself, and I get to not worry about being hunted down/runover/etc. by angry motorists.

Julia’s response:

In my experience, compromise is a good way to balance the need to be oneself with the need to live harmoniously with others. If something is a problem — negotiate a compromise. If something isn’t a problem, the individual can just be herself!

I love this sentence. I’m putting it on the wall in my office. Fantastic thinking and feeling!

Thanks for this. It’s inspiring to know that there are other people out there throwing open the doors of themselves and living large. I’m trying to do this now, too . . . after an entire lifetime of living not just to please other people, but even worse, in ways that I **assumed** other people wanted me to act (and was very likely often wrong), I’m facing something really scary:

I’m not even sure what it is that I want.

But I’m sick and tired of being “the good girl.” Of the endless efforts to prove myself at everything. Time to figure out what my personal equivalent of proudly wearing mismatched socks is for you. :o)

I look forward to meeting me, too!

I love this. It’s taken me many years as well to finally come to being myself: big, loud, goofy me. And I cringe when I see myself doing this to my son- urging him to be quieter in public, not to be so goofy with his friends (again- in public!). I guess I’m still just a little worried that someone will think I’m an irresponsible parent. Hmm.. something to chew on!

For a long time, I really thought I didn’t have anything to offer other people so I would be what they needed, except I could only live that way so long before withdrawing. It was a messy pattern. yucky.

life is better now that i am living more true. it is definitely a process but one so worth all the hard bits! :) i love this journey…

thank you for sharing from your heart, kyeli. it really helps to hear other peeps overcoming challenges.

keep dreaming & learning about YOU! ROCK ON~

question though – what are your thoughts on how to ‘be yourself’ when it may impact others negatively?

For example, my hubs feels the need to honk ALL THE TIME when we are driving (his reasonings include: ‘it’s my voice on the road!’ and ‘they need to know they are bad drivers!’). Our solution so far is to compromise by limiting himself to 3 honks per trip. He still gets to be himself, and I get to not worry about being hunted down/runover/etc. by angry motorists.

So — I’m on this one fully with you! Here’s to following our hearts…whatever they speak!

I LOVE THIS POST! *stands up and cheers*

It reminds me of this drabble, this webcomic, and this short story by H.P. Lovecraft.