The way to have a 100% perfectly reliable memory is to have a 0% completely unreliable memory.
If you trust your memory and treat it as reliable, you can improve your memory up to 90%, 99%, even 99.9% accuracy. But you will never reach 100%, because the human brain is simply not capable of that. The only way to reach 100% accuracy is to stop relying on your brain and start relying on a trusted system.
Brains are squishy.
Brains are great at lots of things, but they’re not clockwork. If you want perfection, you need a machine and a routine.
Did you forget someone’s birthday? Set up an automatic reminder to email you.
Did you forget to buy soy milk at the grocery store? Make a list and cross things off.
Did a deadline sneak up on you for your current project? Put your deadlines on a calendar and make a habit of looking at the calendar each work day. (A never-looked-at calendar is worse than none at all.)
Got stuck paying late fees on the rent? Set up a monthly reminder.
A machine and a routine
The first step to never forgetting anything again is to set up a machine. Your machine can be an actual machine (like a computer), a calendar, a list, or anything reliable outside of your own head. (Scrawling messages in the dust on a windy day is not recommended.)
The second step is to establish a routine. Create a habit of looking at your machine. If you forget to look at it, you’re back to relying on your memory again, and that’s fallible. But if you get into a routine, it will happen automatically after a while. We are creatures of habit.
My machine and my routine
For my machine, I use two things: Google Calendar (with email reminders) and a to-do list (which happens to be on a private wiki).
For my routine, I regularly check my email at least twice a day (which ensures I read gcal’s email reminders) and I check my to-do lists at the beginning of each work day.
I have a few other routines, too. To remember to do the dishes, I created a habit of doing the dishes every day after dinner. I sometimes forget, though — I haven’t made a perfectly reliable routine out of it yet — so, starting today, I’m going to go into the kitchen every day after dinner even if the dishes don’t need to be done. That way it’ll become a habit instead of relying on my memory.
You can’t form habits by doing things sporadically. The only way to form reliable habits is to do things regularly.
I’ll sometimes leave random reminders in my path, too. If I want to remember to bring something with me when I leave the house, I’ll put it near the door. If I want to bring my computer and microphone (because I’ll need it later for a teleclass) into the next room, and it’ll take two trips, I’ll bring my microphone first, because if I get distracted in the other room, I might forget the microphone, but I’m not going to forget my computer because I’ll realize it’s missing as soon as I sit down at my desk.
Don’t trust your brain, but don’t beat yourself up.
Here’s the most important part, because it will ensure that you reach your goal of 100% reliability.
Whenever you forget something, don’t beat yourself up. Don’t just say, “I’ll do better next time.” Instead, figure out a way that you can remember it in the future, without trusting your brain. Use a machine or create a routine.
The path to perfection winds through the flats of feeble-mindedness
Whenever I want to remember something, I never say “Okay, I’ll remember that.” I treat my memory as a Siren singing me to my doom. Instead I say “Let me write that down,” and I either write it down on my to-do list or put it on the calendar. If I’m not near my to-do list or my calendar, I write it on the back of my hand (I make sure to always have a pen handy) and transfer it as soon as I’m able.
Only by learning to treat your memory as completely unreliable can you never forget anything again.
We created our 52 Weeks to Awesome e-course for people who want their lives to be more awesome but don't yet know how to get there.
With a commitment of just an hour per week, we'll guide you from today to awesome in 52 baby steps. What better time to start than now?
{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
Ahh, yes, the Simple (or Complex) Trusted System. On the one hand, I TOTALLY agree. On the other . . . I’m still paranoid. (Which is *part* of the reason why I don’t use electronic gadgetry to organize my life . . . the one time I absolutely, positively, on pain of death, HAD to remember something crucial would be the time a freak lightning storm would strike and fry my computer and Trusted Electronic Sidekick to bits and bytes.)
There is no completely foolproof system. (I’m also wrestling with the whole concept that there is no perfection, too, but see my website for that. )
And there are those of us who are productivity geeks, constantly tweaking our “machines,” whatever they are. I’ve learned that’s a **great** way for things to fall through the cracks. :P
But I think the advice you give here is good for . . . oh, say, a 99.7% Remembering Stuff Factor. Approximately. :o)
I was constantly beating myself up for not remembering things I thought I ‘should’ remember. Then I did a bunch of reading on brain-styles, ADD, etc. and realized that my brain simply wasn’t wired for short-term memory . With that realization, I stopped trying to remember stuff- and that has been so liberating. I’ve become a dedicated list maker- and a dedicated list-looker.
If someone tells me something, or asks me verbally to do something and I can’t write it down immediately, I’m getting really good at saying, “I know I won’t remember this, so can you call me and leave me a message or send me an email?”
Not trying to keep everything in my head has freed up all kinds of brain space and I’m not constantly worried I’m forgetting something.
Machines are not 100%
Routines are not 100%
It’s a useful technique, yes, but it’s sheer hyperbole to claim that this achieves 100% :)
@Elly: You are 100% correct! (:
I am forever putting empty containers of stuff on the kitchen counter. So when I see the empty box of dish soap sitting there, I’ll remember to go get some.(of course ow that I lve with smeone, if empty containers get thrown away that’s a flaw in the system…ahem) Aha! Now I have a name for this compulsion. “It’s just my *memory routine*” ;)
haha i am all about making the lists! it’s the habit of CHECKING them that i have yet to master! I have found that the hand written list is somehow better. not sure why, but when i write it out with a pen and paper it magically writes it in my brain too! But then, maybe it’s just that i can SEE it and actually look at it. at any rate, you inspired me to give the electronic list thing a 3rd attempt! This time i will concentrate on the habit of looking at the list rather than the list existing :) thank you !
How did you know my brain is squishy? :)
{ 1 trackback }