I used to be terrified of travel. I wasn’t afraid of the act of traveling, but I was utterly terrified of missing my flight. I’d become a neurotic mess three days before a flight, I’d lose sleep, I’d pack 24 hours early, and I’d get to the airport five hours early. I was not a good traveling companion (with apologies to Pace. Again.).
Finally, after taking several trips with me and faced with several more, while we were in the airport securely at our gate with two hours to spare – and probably out of a fit of boredom, having to wait so damn long for our flight to board – Pace asked me, “What are you so afraid of?”
I said, “Missing my flight.”
She blinked – a lot – and asked, “Why?”
I stared at her as though she’d turned magenta and sprouted antennae. “What?! Because terrible things happen if you miss your flight!”
She said, “Like what?”
I was agog. How could Pace, a seasoned traveler, not know?! I thought about it, trying to squeeze my huge emotional reaction into words. It took me a moment, but I finally managed, “I don’t know! But I know it’s terrible! They fine you and send you home and ban you from their airlines and your entire trip is ruined and everyone gets really super mad at you!”
I realize that sounds ridiculous, but that’s what I thought. Seriously.
It was Pace’s turn to look at me like I’d sprouted antennae. “Seriously?”
I nodded.
She started giggling. I got huffy. She tried to stop, failed, then after like fifteen minutes of laughing managed to stop. “Kyeli. All they do is put you on the next flight.”
I paled, I’m sure of it. “Really?”
“Really really. They may charge you a fee, but they usually don’t even do that.”
“Really?”
She nodded. “Really. I’ve done it before. You know me, it’s not unusual for me to be late.” She shrugged. “They put me on the next flight out without so much as a stern look. That was it; they didn’t even lose my luggage.”
“Oh.” I sat for a minute, feeling kind of silly. “Oh. Well. That’s not so bad.”
Pace put a comforting arm around me. “Indeed.”
What are you afraid of that might not be so bad, once you give it a good look?
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{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
Ha! Love it.
I used to be afraid of quitting my job. Serious heart palpitations-type afraid.
Like half an hour ago. And now I’m not! Through exactly this principle.
“I’ve made peace with wanting and needing to quit my job, but I’m terrified of actually going in there and say it!”
“Why?”
“Because I have a term of three months that I have to stay after giving notice, which means they can make my life hell for three months!”
“And what’s the worst that could happen?”
“Them treating me like shit while I have to stay there and let them do it!”
“You sure?”
“Well, if they get really mean I could just say ‘screw it, I’m not showing up tomorrow.’”
“And then what would happen?’
“They’d say ‘screw it, I’m not paying you anymore.”
“And is that a problem?”
“Um. No, actually. That’s completely fine with me. So you mean I can actually decide what I allow people to do to me? Huh. What a concept.”
Tadaaa!
*giddy*
.-= Maartje´s last blog ..Sailing, sailing away . . . =-.
I used to do the same thing! I wasn’t afraid of missing my flight, though…I was (and still am) afraid of being stopped at the security checkpoint, and so I would try to get to the airport several hours before I needed to be there, until I realized that arriving several hours early was not going to make it any less likely that I’d get stopped at security, and just meant that once I did get through, I’d be stuck in the terminal that much longer, unless I wanted to go through AGAIN. So, I thought I was afraid of missing my flight, because my reaction to my fear would have at least been logical if that were the thing I was afraid of, but it turned out it wasn’t that at all!
.-= Oliver Danni´s last blog .. =-.
A lot of my travel fears relate to the unfamiliarity of new places and procedures I’ve never encountered. Around home I deal with a lot of my social awkwardness by becoming an expert on my surroundings and never having to ask strangers for help. Once I leave I can’t rely on those security blankets.
I worry about feeling lost, having to deal with strangers, and that people will think I’m up to something dodgy because I look nervous.
All of this is just as irrational as worrying about missing a flight, and I know it. Awareness of that irrationality hasn’t really helped me. It makes it worse, actually, since the source of discomfort becomes the feelings about the situation, rather than the situation itself. I guess I’m just going to have to find a different approach.
.-= Cha´s last blog ..$ =-.
I went white water rafting with my then-boyfriend and his friends and when we were about to get to the rapids, I had the option of getting out of the raft and walking. I thought about it, because I was really nervous about it but then I went ahead and asked myself “What’s the worst thing that could happen?”
“Well,” I thought, “I could fall out of the boat and hit my head on a rock and drown and die.”
“True,” I replied to myself, “But given that you’re surrounded by people including hired professionals who are undoubtedly trained to handle situations like that, how likely is the death part going to happen?”
“Hmm, not very, I suppose.”
“So what’s the worst thing that’s LIKELY to happen?”
“I could fall out of the raft and, um, get wet.”
And that, I realized, wasn’t such a bad thing. Gee, I might get wet. As if I wasn’t already dressed for that. (Plus, I had a helmet, so the ‘hitting my head and dying’ part wasn’t that likely, either.)
So I went ahead and did it. And, yeah, it was a bit scary but there was also an amazing thrill that came with it and, to my credit, I didn’t fall out of the raft. :)
.-= Sheila the Wonderbink´s last blog ..Word Art: Blue Blazing =-.
Hey, All!
Kyeli, great post. Actually, what you did — exposing your humanity for all to see — is precisely what I’m afraid of. I’m launching a website where I intend to be authentic. That’s going to expose me, leaving me naked and vulnerable, but the site won’t be what I hope it to be for others without it. My fears are that I will be publicly ridiculed, thought a fool and ignored, and that what I’m passionate about doing will flop.
What I do when I feel the fear is to remind myself that courage isn’t without fear, but rather doing things despite fear. I picture some of the biggest, most popular bloggers when they started out, pretty certain many of them felt the same fears. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t.
Annie
The topic of fear is coming up a lot lately.
I have been exploring it on my blog as well and I just did a DTB Radio show on it. Fear can be so tricky!
I think you arrived at the perfect solution…acknowledge and explore it. I like to say shine the light of awareness on it so that it is not lurking around in the shadows or hiding under the bed anymore.
.-= Leah/DefytheBox´s last blog ..Is It Really Worth It????? =-.
I’ve missed my flight more than five times in my adult life and I can tell you that you are right to be afraid (well, maybe not THAT afraid) for only once have I been pardoned for missing my flight. It used to be that if it was a connecting flight you wouldn’t be fined for missing it but just this Christmas I was fined more than $100 for “wait list” seat. I’ve also lost quite a few tickets as a result of missing them, this year I’ve lost $700 worth of tickets and in the years before much more! I’ve really wasted a lot of money on it…and it’s so heartbreaking to be stuck in an airport for another 9 hours or something T-T
.-= JESSU´s last blog ..The Morning After a Day and a Night of Withdrawal Symptoms…. =-.