Last week, I was unhappy for over 48 hours. I was feeling blocked and stuck and small and generally yuckola. Pace and I have been having some working-together-related problems, I’d gotten triggered, and was struggling with how to move forward.
I had a long conversation with Megan, during which she said, “What do you, Kyeli, want?”
I realized that I didn’t know.
I dropped everything and moved myself into our sanctuary. I plugged into Fabeku’s amazing bowl music, tumped my markers out, grabbed a sheet of poster board, and started scribbling.
Bang! In one minute, I had a huge list of things I wanted from the blog. No problems there, I know exactly what I want.
Then I moved on to a place where I have less firm ideas and more insecurity, so it was harder to get a clear grasp on what I want. I got stuck.
I hmm’d. I fussed. I got fidgety. I got frustrated. Eventually, I threw my marker down and huffed.
And then my brain exploded! (Not literally.)
I grabbed my markers and a new, clean sheet of poster board and started scribbling.
Here’s the result!
I started with a little “me” in the center, made it a flower. Then I went all around, writing things I am both good at and love to do – one or the other isn’t good enough. I made lots of connections, lots of lines, cried lots of tears, and even had a few surprises (I like being judgemental, for example – and I’m damn good at it!).
This really helped me see what I’m doing that I don’t love – and what I love that I’m not doing. It felt like a mental/emotional/spiritual shaking, and my priorities get to settle back in and reorder, reorganize into something I can more clearly see and understand.
In the past few days, I’ve started making real measurable progress toward goals I had previously set aside. I’ve brought myself more into focus – and as a result, I can more clearly see what I want.
And that makes me feel unstoppable!
If you feel called to make a mind-map, I would love to see it!
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{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
Wow, darlin — this is beautiful!
.-= Megan M.´s last blog ..Addiction =-.
That’s lovely. I think I’ll try it.
I’m also excellent at being judgemental. :) I thought this was a bad thing for a long time, then read Caroline Myss’ archetypes book and realised that actually it had a wonderful side as well as the shadow side.
I made something like this one day after a long phone conversation with my therapist. It was ways that I could take care of my “I”, but the concept is similar. I don’t have an online picture of it right now, but I’ll grab a shot of it when I get home. Thanks for reminding me.
I love mind maps, i’m just not good at starting (shocking) especially on paper. I think I’m gonna try this too… after all I have a massively huge giant notebook JUST for mind maps :) better use it before all the kids get to it…
.-= Moon’slark´s last blog ..More List-tastic Goodness (Moon’sLark… =-.
wow. this is AMAZING to see a picture of your mindmap! This is one of those things that i am always impressed/amazed that others can do them. i am a little bit terrified of doing this. I think it takes an enormous amount of strength to be able to do this. thank you so much for sharing!! One day i will do this and share :)
It’s amazing how you took concrete action to “see” yourself, and how that created “real measurable progress”. All to often I get stuck in my own head – thoughts swirling like sediment in dirty water. Mind mapping seems like it would create a better “handle” on that which is typically amorphous.
.-= John Haydon´s last blog ..Why you need to share your story =-.
Kyeli, i love looking at the visual of someone’s mind and comparing and contrasting it with mine! I agree with KATE that putting anything down on paper, especially the soul, is an emotional leap. Wtg.
Bonjour from sunny Montréal…
I “Stumbled Upon” your site and was quickly reminded that I need to set my record straight, so to speak. I’ve been doing Treasure Maps / Vision Boards for almost two years, but forgot to stop and breathe and take a good look at myself… at what makes up my total being. So thanks for the cool mindmap idea — definitely going to experiment with this.
Peace & Love & Rock’n'Roll,
Mudd a.k.a. Happy Oza :-)
xoxo
.-= Mudd a.k.a. Oza Meilleur´s last blog ..Quiet Days In Verdun =-.
Putting things down on paper sets such an intention, I never believe it but it always ends up being true.
I love your picture! Beautiful :)
.-= Eileen´s last blog ..Even better than the real thing =-.
I like and appreciate that you decided to put the things that you are both good at and love to do and leave off the rest.
What a perfect way to amplify the energy of what feels good and is already working for you. That is where your power is. Why wast time looking at anything else?
.-= Leah´s last blog ..How to Kick Self-Doubts Ass =-.