I listed many life lessons we’ve learned from tiny pretend people, but this one is so important, it earned its own post.
Doing what you love and accomplishing your goals is fun.
I actually anti-learned this lesson from the Sims. I had a gardener, Max, who’s life goal was to have a perfect garden. She was a hippie vegetarian granola girl with a green thumb, who loved the outdoors and enjoyed solitude, loved to read, and got her socialization from talking to her plants.
But when she worked in her garden, her fun meter went down.
When she read non-fiction books to learn skills, her fun meter went down.
When she read fiction, her fun meter went up. When she played on the computer, which wasn’t really in her nature, her fun meter went up.
This was extremely annoying to me. She’s a gardener. Reading books about gardening and working in her garden helped her achieve her life goal.
Why didn’t that make her happy?
Well, Sims 3 is a life simulator.
It’s simulating regular life. And (apparently) in regular life, you have to separate fun from work. You work and it sucks, then you go have fun and it’s fun.
Max works in her garden and it sucks – even though she’s outside, even though she’s enjoying solitude, even though she’s listening to her favorite music, even though she’s doing what she loves. Because it’s “work”. When she reads non-fiction, even though she loves to read, it’s “work”.
She finally took up guitar because that was more aligned with her heart than playing on the computer – but the first few levels weren’t fun, because she was learning.
And before Max, I had a writer who didn’t enjoy writing! What?!
So what did I learn from all this?
Learning and work aren’t fun. And if I learned that so vividly, I can only imagine what it’s teaching our children and teenagers – thousands of whom are playing this game.
But you know what?
That’s bullshit!
It’s Control Paradigm bullshit. It’s all lies. It’s not true. It’s what we grow up witnessing and what we might believe – but it’s wrong.
Learning is vital. It keeps us changing, growing, and in motion. And work! Working is what brings us closer to our goals, helps us achieve our dreams!
I’m not saying it’s all fun and games. I know it can suck – I’ve been there. I’ve had jobs that required me to go home and veg out for hours just to recover. I’ve had jobs that sucked my soul and made me cry on my commute every day.
But what I’m saying is, it doesn’t have to suck.
Pace pointed out that I’m probably in the 1% of people who even noticed that my Sims don’t love their work – most people are so entrenched in “work sucks” that they just assume work sucks, and of course you need a computer to have fun! And of course, our kids particularly feel that way.
And all that breaks my heart.
We live in a paradigm where work is occasionally fulfilling but often not – and certainly not fun regardless. We live in a paradigm where recreation is fun but not fulfilling. And we live in a paradigm where most people don’t even know that it can get better.
Time for a paradigm shift, don’t you think?
Have you read the Connection Manifesto? It tells the story of why there is so much hurt and sadness in the world, and how we can heal through connection.
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I think it’s sad that so many people hate their jobs. And I wonder how much of that attitude comes from this sort of conditioning. And I wonder too, whether or not people actually hate their jobs as much as they say they do.
When I was growing up, my dad always talked about how much he hated his job (and he owned his own business). He planned to retire early and couldn’t wait. Now that he’s retired, he *claims* he’s really happy – but most of his favourite stories to tell are from back when he was in business. He gets all animated and nostalgic – and it’s been over 15 years now.
I look back and realize that I’ve always liked working and I could always find *something* I liked about any and every job I’ve ever held (even the most menial, even with the nastiest co-workers). Yet, I remember complaining along with everyone else.
Until very recently, I used to think there was something wrong with me because I’d rather read non-fiction or think about my business instead of engaging in mindless activities that “other” people think are fun. I’m turning my hobbies into my job and I’m refusing to let the new label suck the joy from it.
Thank you for the thought provoking post…and yeah, let’s shift that paradigm!
.-= Patty K´s last blog ..Wishing I hadn’t stopped, wishing I’d started sooner =-.
Interesting, when I played Sims 3 my main income maker was a rockstar (literally). My primary way of making cash was having her go and busk in parks. She loved it! Her fun meter definitely went up, as did her social and environment. I could leave her out there all day if I wanted, she’d only quit if she got hungry or needed to use the bathroom.
Had I paid attention I might have noticed that her day job made her unhappy… I’m also not sure what effect playing large, formal concerts had on her mood.
I wonder if the Sims 3 has this idea that some work is more fun then others? Being out in the sunshine playing your guitar – fun! On your knees alone working in a garden… not fun? But I think it definitely fails to take into account that different people have different wants. Some would be miserable with the guitar but love solitude and physical work with plants :)
Work sucks! Isn’t that what we were all raised to think anyway? I’m disheartened, though, that a gardener isn’t happy gardening and a writer isn’t happy writing. The message we’ve heard from society lately is that we should do what we love. Yay! Though I have found that sometimes when you take something joyful and make it your work, it becomes work. It’s not the peaceful hobby it once was. Hmm… so many angles from which to view this.
.-= Sherri´s last blog ..Happy Post – March 26, 2010 =-.
This is really insightful! I never realized before why I don’t like playing the Sims. But who would want to play a game which imposes such a negative view of life? I’ll stick to first-person shooters… oops. :-)
I have never looked at it this way. I always focus on my sims fulfillments (getting to do the things they want to do) until their needs get in the way. My gardening sims find gardening extremely fulfilling, they really want to garden and so gardening makes them happy. Their mood increases when they fulfil their gardening wishes. My writing sims mood increases when they fulfill their writing wishes.
I like that the sims can really want to do things but sometimes they don’t want to do them right now. after writing for a long time my sims feel stressed out and they need to do something else for a while. they need to clear their mind for a bit with some painting or some computer games or jogging or reading a novel…. and then go back to what they do to feel fulfilled.
I see the ‘fun’ meter in the Sims3 as not a level of ‘enjoyment’ so much.
Yes if you love gardening, gardening is fun. But it makes your feet hurt and your arms tired and your neck hurt and the sun makes you feel tired. I can enjoy things that aren’t always “fun” and things that are “fun” are not things which necessarily make me satisfied with my life. (which doesn’t mean that these thins can’t intersect or be the same thing. I know that when I am reading something technical, even if it is something I really really want to learn about, it might make me feel happy and fulfilled but it doesn’t always make me feel like I am “having fun” and that doesn’t mean that I am not enjoying myself)
I like that the mood of the sims isn’t just based on their needs. my gardening sims are feeling perfectly happy when they are gardening. Because being happy isn’t just about “having fun” in the sims 3 (or in real life). That little ‘fun’ meter isn’t a measure of the sims mood – it just contributes to it! I have sims that have maxed out mood meters, even when their “fun” meter is quite low!
.-= ephant´s last blog ..Chifley misses "The Adventures of Chifley" (or DOES HE?) =-.
I *love* learning new stuff, and definitely count that as “fun”. However, it can be hard work and very tiring. Likewise, I thoroughly enjoy developing computer software, which is what I do for a living, and which is therefore officially “work”.
It’s a shame that people are generally taught that learning is dull, and work is a necessary evil, when the contrary can be true. If everyone started off with the idea that learning and work could be fun then they might end up with more fulfilled lives.
.-= Anthony Williams´s last blog ..just::thread C++0x Thread Library V1.3.2 Released =-.
I don’t think it is corrupting us or children. Children love learning, they can’t stop learning they are sponges for information because it is fun. Same with adults although our ‘fun’ has become corrupted by society which teaches us that only sex, drink, drugs and watching violence, sex, drink and drugs on telly is fun. The Sims although better than many games in many respects is a little flawed in this regard. Sim kids for instance should be able to skill up just from watching an adult do something, like cooking or gardening. This should be fun. Learning should be fun if it aligns with the sims traits. ie a sim who can’t stand art should hate learning the painting skill, but if they have a green thumb they should love learning the gardening skill.
Even though their fun level does not go up – I have noticed that gardeners with green thumbs tend to hum and sing while gardening which is a show of enjoyment even though the fun level may not be going up.
I think its a programming aspect of the game that is flawed and should be corrected – after all whats the point of having traits if all they do is occasional make an idle specific to that trait. They have to ACT that trait at least.
Well, I see this as bull really. No one is taught work is dull and learning is boring. Either you enjoy it or you don’t. No one can tell you what to like. Sure they can push and if you like it you like if not then you don’t. I know several people who enjoy their jobs even though they watched their loved ones slave away at a job they loathed. Hmm… Learning is a whole different story. I hated learning math, why?? Did someone teach me to hate learning?? Nope, I was horrible with math no matter how hard I tried. Everyone in my family is good with math and sucks at science. I enjoy learning different sciences. I know a lot of people who feel the same way. Sure children need guidance but you can’t force someone to like something or to hate it. A parent may teach their their child to love football but the child may hate it and want to be a ballerina just saying. I think you are taking a game too seriously. I have been playing The Sims since I was like 10 or 11. Sure it was T for teen but my mother knew I was mature enough to know it was a game while it “simulated” life it wasn’t how life goes. I even told her that. I am 18 soon to be married and getting my bartending license. I enjoyed school for the most part and had a good childhood even with The Sims involved. Parents need to educated their child and be diligent in monitoring their children. But if a child thinks that a video game is real life then they don’t need to be playing a game they can’t comprehend or that they can’t separate reality from fiction.
I completely agree with your point here. Work and learning don’t have to suck. In fact, they shouldn’t. So while I believe you have a valid point to make, I believe blaming the Sims 3 for corrupting children/adults is a bit off. The Sims 3 is a game and all games have limits to their programming. It would be incredibly difficult to program the game so that every single Sim earned fun/enjoyment differently, especially when you consider how many townies the story progression may be in charge of. It would be great if every Sim could gain fun from doing what will help them achieve their goals, but it’s just not possible for the game to be programmed that way (at this time. Technology is always advancing after all). Yes, the mindset that work will always suck is a problem among the general population, but it was only unintentionally recreated in the Sims.
You know what I think is corrupting our children? People who curse on internet forums where children go when searching for help on sims. My son typed in “the sims 3 my sims aren’t happy” on google and this was the first thing that came up. He read it, of course. Thank you for teaching my son how to curse. Besides, if you really want your sim to have fun at work, just give them the workaholic trait. That should fix your problem right away WITHOUT needless anger.
Jaoko, I’m sorry if I hurt you and your son – and I agree with you; cussing is an unhelpful expression of anger, and I’ve recently started curbing the habit. I wrote about my feelings on this issue here.
I hope you and your son find peace together.
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