I watched my ex-spouse leave her cat’s litter box past the point of any kind of redemption over and over. It killed me to witness it so I would clean it myself. She would get angry at me for taking on that responsibility without her permission. What do you think this means in the context of responsibility and power?

A million years later (um…January 2008), I started peritoneal dialysis. The “easy” kind where you have a tube surgically placed in your peritoneal cavity and through the power of osmosis (and some machinery), some of the toxins are sucked out of your body and you can live until a kidney can be transplanted to do the work. I can’t begin to describe the “ugh” factor. But, hey! It could have been worse, right? In August, 2008, my husband donated one of his kidneys. I’m almost 5 months post-op. The docs are very happy.

This is only pertinent because I realize that I was trying to escape responsibility (power?) by quitting the golden handcuff job with bone crushing stress. Ironically, only to (be forced to) embrace responsibility for doing the dialysis (very hands on stuff) and for taking the immunosuppressants and otherwise caring for my body.

What interests me about your post is the twist on the relationship between responsibility and power. I have actively sought to avoid the responsibility of reviving my business (oh, I have lots of “irons in the fire” but you know what I mean–I watched all 8 seasons of Smallville in two weeks).

Is this avoiding my power, as well?

In retrospect, I feel I’ve had lots of responsibility without the balancing, healing effects of power. I’d like to “get my power back” but I don’t want–can’t take–any more responsibility.

You’ve really given me something to chew on. That’s pretty authentic stuff. I appreciate that, as I claw my way back to…where ever it is I’m going.

I will say, anyone taking this track of helping themselves (or others) must take care that those being given the responsibility are able to achieve the power they are taking the responsibility for. For example, if you teach Dru how to wash his own clothing and then attempt to control where and when he uses the washing machine (outside of establishing boundaries), you’d completely undo all of the empowerment you sought to give him. I’m sayings this more to make conversation than as a criticism of your post, that scenario has play out in front of me more times then I can count.

I like what you said a lot, especially the bits about Dru. It’s just interesting thinking about how it doesn’t go both ways. I like the idea of letting someone choose responsibility to gain power, especially.

great post, and a great way to turn a familiar concept around so it sticks from a whole new side! :)

I have a feeling that choice plays a big part in that equation, too – I just didn’t figure out the full connection yet. Something along the lines of responsibility brings with it the choice of different actions, including inaction. Power then translates into the choices you can make for yourself and/or for other people. And as soon as you make a choice, you are responsible for the consequences.

The more there are people who are willing to let you make their choices, the more power you have, but you also have greater responsibility for those consequences, not only to yourself but to all those people as well.

Something along those lines. I might have to draw myself a picture to get the connections right. :) Thank you again for the post!

Giving responsibility is empowering. That’s why good parents give their kids tasks around the house, and they learn the power of responsibility for life. Those who “spoil” their kids really do them a disservice since they don’t learn responsibility until they have to, and some don’t ever learn it, and it’s a sad thing to give up power you never knew you had!

(Of course, you just reminded me of a conversation that I had with my husband about super powers!)