Recently, a woman flipped out at me for being a Witch. Told me I was going to hell and everything! I was kind of dumbfounded by it, truth be told, and wound up getting the giggles by the time I got safely back in my car.
Sometimes, I forget that there are still people who don’t like that I’m a Witch (or a lesbian or tattooed, etc). I mean, there are people who don’t like that I’m vegetarian, and I forget that all the time.
It’s one of the pros and one of the cons about living my freak life in a freak city in a freak bubble. I forget that the rest of the world isn’t always a freak-safe zone. Then, when Pace and I hold hands, or I go off on a tangent about what my pendant means, or when I ask for no meat, and someone flips out at me, I go all wide-eyed and facepalm and am suddenly and wildly reminded that most of the world thinks I’m a freak – and they mean it in a bad way!
Seriously? Still? We haven’t gotten past that yet?
I mean, Naomi‘s been a freak for ages. Bob’s a freak, Seth‘s a freak. Even Johnny‘s a freak now! All the cool kids are doing it. Why do I still have to have this conversation? Why do I still get these reactions?
Why do other people care about what I do with my own life?
Because it’s threatening. It’s terrifying. I’m a bold, clear example that you can’t control everyone. Not everyone will follow all the rules. I’m loud about it. I’m out about it. I’m occasionally even in-your-face about it, though I’m super nice and loving and compassionate even then.
Being different is a bright bold terrifying reminder that we’re not all controllable, that we’re not all the same. In a world of cookie-cutter wannabes, that’s the scariest wake-up call around.
Have you read the Connection Manifesto? It tells the story of why there is so much hurt and sadness in the world, and how we can heal through connection.
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Also they freak out at other people because it reminds them that they also could have made other choices but instead chose to conform. Like Havi says we all have our stuff.
.-= helen´s last blog ..Училището убива креативността =-.
One of my favorite books is Richard Feynman’s “What Do You Care What Other People Think?” (It is not my favorite Feynman book; that’s still “Surely You’re Joking, Mr. Feynman”.) It seems so apropos even as I try desperately to fit in. Some days I feel like I’m trying to fit The Shape From Out Of Space into a round hole.
…I should re-read that book one of these days. It and its brother used to have pride of place on my bookshelf; now they’re buried in boxes somewhere. Ah, unintentional metaphor…
(All of which is a long-winded way of saying “I agree”.)
.-= Chris Anthony´s last blog ..Between Scylla and Charybdis =-.
It doesn’t really have anything to do with what you’re doing with your life, it’s what your life symbolizes to them–the collapse of civilization as they know it. And, frankly, “civilization as they know it” (the control paradigm) is indeed collapsing and about damn time, but they can’t imagine that anything better could possibly rise in its place, because what is rising is contrary to everything they’ve been taught about how the world works.
I still do not understand why people “freak out” about someone else being gay/lesbian/tattooed/Wiccan/vegetarian/insert-anything-else-”freaky”-here. Your lifestyle is not hurting anyone.
I suppose I can kind of understand the feeling threatened thing…but not really, because someone can be wildly different than me, but I don’t feel threatened. I might feel uncomfortable, simply because I want to understand them, and I don’t want to offend them, or come across as an idiot. Or I might even feel a little jealous, because they’re living and being how they WANT to, while I still struggle with that.
I’m working through it. And this is all from someone who was raised by verrrrrry conservative people. There is hope. :)
What REALLY gets me about some of the people who freak out on “different’ people is that they claim to be different themselves. Some of the most tolerant and loving people seem to think that because they are their way that anyone else being otherwise is license to rant and belittle. There is nothing worse than a hippie (and I mean that in all respect and love, not as an insult) who tells someone else that they’re an asshole because they’re not loving. Wtf, mate?
.-= Jaka Merriman´s last blog ..One Vacation to the Next =-.
This happens to me too! All my friends are super-freaky as well, so going beyond that to ‘you’re only a vegan because you want people to think you’re cool’ (which has got to be one of the craziest things I’ve ever heard!) is such a jolt. It’s good though, because it reminds me to keep being a freak, and keep being open about it, because there are still people out there who just…don’t…get…it. Rock on, and stuff.
xx
.-= Amelia´s last blog ..Mid-Week Mash Up =-.
I think it might be the control thing, but it might also be a big bold statement about what they’re NOT doing (or in the case of vegetarianism, what they ARE doing – eating animals).
I get this with my pink hair. The people who freak out about it the most are the people who have been afraid to live differently.
Your lifestyle decisions fly in the face of people who are miserable about their own conforming.
What do you think?
.-= Tara´s last blog ..Thank you! =-.
My kid has a big silver nose ring. It looks like something ferdinand the bull would wear. And when people are freaking about it, and ask him about why he wears a big silver septum ring, he says, “It’s to remind me to not be judgmental towards others about how they choose to look.”
smartass. Love him.
I think Tara’s right, freak lifestyle decisions fly in the face of people who are miserable about their own conforming.
.-= Bridget Pilloud´s last blog ..Move Along- Nothing to See Here =-.
Someone actually argued with me today about whether it’s reasonable to expect a vegetarian option to be offered at an event where free food is provided. This person is an omnivore, but still definitely not someone I ever expected would attempt to rationally defend the idea that it’s okay to have a big community dinner event and expect the vegetarians to just be happy with some mashed potatoes (which are not even remotely vegan, either). BLEW MY MIND. And I’m NOT frequently surrounded by co-freaks, either, so you’d think by now I’d be used to this sort of thing.
.-= Oliver Danni´s last blog .. =-.
Ignorance. Can’t get around it, I suppose…. Sorry to hear people are afraid to be unafraid of people who think differently – I try not to become like them, it’s too limiting and….ignorant!
.-= Clyde Machine´s last blog ..A Lesson to be Learned: Critical Thinking Teaches =-.
You should never feel sorry for who you are and the things you believe in! It took me a while to learn this lesson but now I’m proud to say I finally mastered this art :)
Alison
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